Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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