where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize