I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
This is my gift to your gina
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
