Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
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