Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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