Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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