Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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