alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
