I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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