What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
