Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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