you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
