we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
