Got a toothbrush?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
