she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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