Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
