I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
