Ambien. No doubt about it.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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