her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
