I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
