she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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