Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
