So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
