I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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