If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
