office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
