girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
