i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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