So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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