I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
