I think i sorta joined a cult last night
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
