i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
