About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize