I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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