Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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