Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
