It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Randomize
