my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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