It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
