Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
