Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
