Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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