do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
