fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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