This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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