i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
