I heard we made out
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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