I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
