I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
