I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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