I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
