It's Friday. Sex?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize