The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
