A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I could fuck to npr.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
