It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
