Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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