You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
